Blessed Are the Meek

August is here – a month drenched in significance and redemption.

A month when Luke was born

And Jason died.

And three of my children said good bye to a mother.

Luke, who was declared terminal at 20 weeks in utero. Luke, who was never supposed to see the light of day & yet defied every odd when he came screaming into this world on August 12, 2004.

Jason, my late husband, a personal trainer and tennis pro- took his last breath on August 24, 2010 & entered the most beautiful light of day when he won his eternal race and accepted the crown of life.

Tate, Mya, and Jada – four days later, August 28, 2010, mourned the loss of their mother – a deep ache that no child should ever have to bear.

Three stories.

Each one intertwined to form a bigger story.

The eternal symbolism is never lost on me.

His strength is made perfect in our weakness.

A strong father who fought for three years – gone.

A young mother full of life and four months later – gone.

A little boy, the meekest of the meek, declared dead and 15 years later, living and thriving and spreading the message of hope with every step he takes.

His ways are never our ways.

“For I am God and you are not” thus sayeth the Lord of Hosts.

Blessed are the meek
And the weak
And the lonely
And those gasping for one more breath
And those with IV’s in their arms
And those swallowing big pills
For even bigger problems
And those seeped in depression
And those on food stamps
And those writhing in addiction
And those who aren’t sure they can make it one more day
Blessed are the single moms
And the dads too
And those crying out for relief
And those living in the shadows
Or those weeping beside a grave
Blessed are all of the Luke’s who came defiantly screaming into this world
With a gigantic F*#% YOU!
PG version –
Of course
And blessed are YOU
And you
And you
And you
The meek of this world
The lost
The forgotten
Blessed are YOU for you shall inherit the earth.

Just keep livin.

Letting the Shepherd Lead During Difficult Times

Psalm 23

The LORD is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
3 He restores my soul;
He guides me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

In 2004 I was told that my unborn child would surely die.

In 2009 I was told the same news about my husband.

My unborn child suffered a stroke in utero and five years later his father was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Continue reading “Letting the Shepherd Lead During Difficult Times”

When the Almighty Flips Your Page – Holding on During Difficult Times

Last night I rummaged through our attic and came across this old calendar from 2010. Flipping through its pages I paused when I arrived at August – August 2010 – the most difficult month of my life, a tumultuous month full of overwhelming obligations and demands: work, Luke’s birthday, family pictures, doctors appointments, four children farmed out on a daily basis to anyone and everyone, the arrival of hospice equipment, nursing staff in and out, important phone calls determining life or death decisions, and ultimately goodbyes whispered and a funeral prepared for a young husband and father.

This morning, eight years later, I bask in the warmth of the Tennessee sun, a beautiful fall day spent watching my rambunctious one year old daughter fill her little, red wagon with dry, autumn leaves as I hang freshly laundered clothing on the line. A day I could not have imagined in my wildest dreams in August of 2010. A day seeping with redemption, warmth, and joy.

The moral of the story? Circumstances can change in an instant. You may currently find yourself in the midst of an unimaginable hell, but hear me with this truth, hold on with every ounce of your being, hold on to him who is greater than he who is in the world, hold on to that last shred of faith in your soul no matter how unraveled or mangled or beat to crap it may seem, HOLD ON for goodness sake and for every other sake in the world for you have absolutely no idea what’s around the bend. You have no idea what may be in store for you when the Almighty flips your page, and you have no idea the blessing he may bestow when you “fight the good fight and finish the race.” You will have your peace again, you will have your joy; you will rise and have the crown of life bestowed upon your weary head, and you will hear those coveted words, “Well done good and faithful servant.” I promise – your faithfulness will win in this life or the next.

Just keep livin!