Month: June 2013

Zoo Creatures, Dead People, and Steel Magnolias

Posted on by Jessica Ronne

Ryan and I journeyed to Tennessee last week to begin preparations on our new zoo… I mean, our new HOUSE. We are currently residing in three particular movies: We Bought a Zoo, Under the Tuscan Sun, and Steel Magnolias. We Bought a Zoo – our version would be more appropriately named We Brought the Zoo to Tennessee and Then Looked at Each Other, Screaming in Disbelief, “WHAT IN THE WORLD HAVE WE DONE”? Although that would probably be the longest movie title in history.

Under the Tuscan Sun – For those who have seen the movie, our new house is pretty darn close to the dilapidated state of the villa she purchases in the movie. We fell in love with the land and saw potential in the house. The reality is, the house needs A LOT of work. There was no paint, no flooring, no phone jacks, no cell service, no kitchen, no trim, no nothing, well not completely true, we had dry wall and some very strange oddities left behind by the extremely wealthy owner. For example, we are now proud owners of an oxygen portal installed straight into the wall which aided the wealthy Mrs. during her health decline years ago.

oxygenWeird Oxygen Thing

We now also own our very own cemetery, which holds the remains of the wealthy Mrs., admittedly a little bit cool and a little bit creepy…

graveyardOur very own graveyard

Despite the sad condition of the house, we love it and officially sealed the deal to purchase it.

Steel Magnolias – I herald from a decent size city in Michigan, I have no idea what the population is, but I have numerous options when it comes to dining out, entertainment, malls, and many large movie theaters.  In my new hometown I have a Walmart – 30 miles from my house – granted, it is a Super Center Walmart, but I’m thinking my clothing options may have just decreased considerably. There’s also a Piggly Wiggly AND a Family Dollar if I ever find myself needing a few alternatives. I knew I was in trouble as we came down to the final hour of our drive and every little town we came upon I was frantically googling the name of the town along with “mall?”, “gym?” “Family Dollar?” “Cato?” “Deb?” “Goodwill?” SOMETHING! ANYTHING! GOOD LORD! HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE??!

The thought that I may have made a slightly rash decision was well enforced when I was asked three separate times by well coifed southern women “Honey, why in the world would you move here? No one moves here…” and I started to wonder, actually panic a wee bit, thinking “Why did I move here?” deep sigh….

The first evening we pulled up to our new palace, after a 12 hour day of driving, and we were confronted with a pack of bats, (I think they roam in packs?? Correct me if I’m wrong) circling around our car. After finally unlocking the gate and driving up the wheat field/driveway we arrived, set up our trailer and discovered that we didn’t have any water. After numerous attempts we relinquished our desire for cleanliness and gave in to the sweet smelling stench of one another, in the trailer, in a small bed, both of us hovering over our respective edges in an attempt to avoid all touching– not the most romantic night we’ve had together. We planned to either shower first thing in the morning when we found water or plan B – check into one of the luxurious hotel options, such as the classy Pine Hotel we had passed earlier in the day. We managed to find water the next morning, but no hot water, not even luke warm water, just pretty much frigid, icicle type water. We took cold showers and pretended like we were part of the other 90% of the world that isn’t American. The next few days we worked hard, painting 7 rooms, ordered all of the flooring, trying to figure out a school for our children (something we probably should have considered before buying the house), health insurance, doctors, dentists, hospitals, unpacked the trailer, and managed to get a few blessed moments of peace and serenity when “them Skeeters” weren’t eating us, admiring the beautiful views of the Tennessee River from our patio.

office                            Ryan working hard on the office

master              Painted Master Bedroom

greatroom                            The HUGE greatroom

river                          View from our porch

I have gone from complete exhilaration, to complete bewilderment repeatedly in this process of new home ownership. I love the house, absolutely love it, but it is SO out of my comfort zone and it is so much work. At times, I’ve wondered if Ryan and I are just gluttons for punishment. It’s hard enough moving 7 young children, but to move them, one severely handicapped child, to an entirely new state, a new house, a house that has absolutely nothing ready in it, and a small town where we don’t know a single soul seems like it may just be bordering on insanity. I feel like an alien in my new hometown, a strange girl from the “North” with an odd accent that everyone peers at through squinted vision, wondering who and what I’m doing invading their territory. I know, in my heart, that this move is so much more than meets the eye. It is about solidifying ourselves as a family, relying on one another, and truly learning to embrace each other and the roles we  play in the Ronne clan. A lot of it is about starting new as a family – a new for all of us. We believe that we are supposed to be in Tennessee, and we usually have a peace about it. Nothing good ever came about without some blood, sweat, and tears, and this home has become a symbol of our beautifully, blended family which has also found its beauty through blood, sweat, and tears. We want to raise our family in a particular way, void of all of the commercialism in the world, teaching our children to appreciate the beauty of God’s creation and the reward that comes from some hard work (that lesson could take a while). We want to get away from the wastefulness of our society and teach by example where our food comes from through having the land and the resources to raise and grow our own. We desire to live simply, no cable, limited cell phone usage, (that’s not necessarily by choice but more of an AT&T decision), no microwave, yes you read that right, NO microwave, the simple life.  It’s a lifestyle we feel called to and a lifestyle we are usually excited about embracing. It’s a life that will be well earned at the end of the day – zoo creatures, dead people, and all of the steely magnolias I encounter along the way.

newhouseHome Sweet Home

Just keep livin!!

Just Keep Bouncing!

Posted on by Jessica Ronne

I’m convinced that there are two ways I can look at my life. There’s nothing overly profound about this revelation which unraveled one evening while reading a book to my three year olds, a book about two very beloved and dear creatures that many children have grown to cherish, a Winnie the Pooh book but more specifically my thoughts arose through the antics of two of Pooh’s favorite sidekicks, his closest friends, Tigger and Eeyore.

Tiger – full of life, vitality, energy, bounce and spunk. Everyone loves Tigger. Tigger is faced with different predicaments in his life but his voice always shouts back, “That’s ok buddy boy!” and he keeps on bouncing, and not only bouncing, but his bounces get higher and higher – ultimately closer to the Heavens. He acknowledges the negative circumstances that he faces but then moves forward by CHOOSING to focus his attention and energy on the positives.

In comparison to this loveable guy, there’s Eeyore. Eeyore really annoys me, probably because he goes against my entire life philosophy of “Just keep livin!”   Eeyore is king wallower, head hung low, full of a woe is me attitude, always looking for pity from everyone else around him. Eeyore, unlike Tigger, ONLY sees the negative. The negative becomes so large and all – encompassing that it clouds over any positive – to the point where in Eeyore’s mind there is nothing to be thankful for. This becomes his reality – his perception of life is shaped because of the cloud of negativity he has allowed to overtake his existence.

Bad circumstances will occur to every single person who walks upon this earth. There is no getting around it, as humans we are faced with hardships. It becomes our choice as to how we respond to those situations. When we wallow in sorrow and seek out attention for the negativity in our lives, we act like Eeyore. We create a huge cloud of darkness that hangs over every aspect of our lives, not allowing any sunlight to filter through for a glimpse of the blessing that still remains in spite of the difficulty. The act of wallowing according to the dictionary is to “live self -indulgently, revel, to wallow in sentimentality, to flounder about, move along or proceed clumsily or with difficulty.” This is exactly the way Eeyore lives his life, he self – indulgently moves about slowly, muttering woe is me comments, reveling in his own pain.

The concept of remembering, however, is a “recalling to the mind by an act or effort of memory; think of again” a very different trait than wallowing. When we remember something we acknowledge that it occurred, we are able to bring it to our memory and then in moving forward as a Tigger, we choose to find the silver lining, understanding the blessings of our life rather than focusing on the pain. In other words, we begin bouncing.  

Sad generally sells over joy, proof seen in any newspaper, most riddled with sad, tragic stories. It is human nature to fixate upon pain and suffering because it makes our own pain more bearable to know that there are others in the world floundering as much as we are.  There’s a lot of truth behind the saying, “Misery loves company” and it also tends to be in our nature to become envious when we recognize blessing and joys in others lives; especially when we don’t possess the same peace and joy in our own lives.

My son Caleb was recently reflecting on his late father’s death, commenting on a specific aspect of their relationship that he missed. It wasn’t a wallow moment, in fact, it was very much a remembering moment for in the same breath as his recollection he turned to me and said, “But I’m lucky because God gave me two good dads.”

If a ten year old has the ability to bounce after his late father’s death, I have to believe that most of us can as well.

Just keep livin!!

Bible Camp,Packing, and Happy, Crappy Father’s Day!

Posted on by Jessica Ronne

The last few days have been pretty exciting – we finally signed official papers of ownership for our new house in Tennessee! Let the chaos begin! So far I’ve packed three boxes.

boxes

It hasn’t sunk in that we are ACTUALLY moving; I’m still waiting for the big ah ha moment. Hopefully it doesn’t procrastinate too much longer. I’m 90% excited, 10% nervous but that could easily change as reality hits me upside the head while packing with 7 little ones underfoot.

The kids had vacation Bible school every night this past week, aka vacation blissfulness for the parents. Ryan brought them at 6:30, returned home, and he and I would sit in peaceful silence until 8:20. Well, sometimes we would go for a walk, but mostly we sat, enjoying the sounds of absolutely nothing for two hours. Here’s a sampling of the bounty we are now proud owners of due to a week spent at church. Most of this, in all likelihood, will start to slowly and unexplainably disappear as we begin to pack.

vacationbible

Saturday night was date night which we always enjoy immensely but this week was particularly exciting sharing it with one of my oldest (not literally) and dearest friends from childhood, Lisa and her husband Justin. Lisa and I met about 23 years ago and have kept in touch ever since. She has an amazing heart and a kind spirit, and I am blessed to call her one of my closest friends. Before ending the night they promised to visit us in our new homeland, and we’re secretly hoping they love it so much they want to move as well, hint, hint…

004

Sunday was Father’s Day and we had every intention in the world of making it to church to celebrate although that in and of itself can often be a very tedious task. I laid out all of the kids church clothes the night before, bought donuts for an easy breakfast and purchased a honey baked ham for lunch. I snuck out of bed early without waking Ryan, displaying his Father’s Day card on top of the bathroom sink to surprise him, went downstairs, made myself a cup of coffee (it may be Fathers Day but some things still don’t change!) and then made him a cup as well. I was in a cheerful mood, having slept well and asked Mabel to go downstairs and let Luke out of his bed. He has a huge, 6 foot tall, padded bed (similar to a baby crib) that opens in the corner to allow him to gain access in and out. She obeyed, running down to “free” him for breakfast and two seconds later Tate came running up the stairs, out of breath, barely gasping out the words..

“Mom, Luke is covered head to toe in poop and he’s crawling all over the basement!”

“WHAT!” I exclaimed in horror, eyes bulging out of my head, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME???”

Any cheerful disposition was pretty much down the drain at that point, being exchanged with some choice words bordering on profanity forming in my mind.

I raced downstairs to discover that yes, indeed, Luke was covered in excrement and bonus, he was naked. This is his new “thing” and we don’t know what to do about it.  When he gets bored, he takes his clothes off and apparently he didn’t want to wear his pajamas that morning and apparently he was even more sick of wearing his dirty diaper and decided to take matters literally into his own hands. He undressed, took off his two diapers, and in the process made a huge mess all over his bed, his walls, his floor and the basement. No picture for this one… use your imagination, it wasn’t pretty.

My happy demeanor was completely gone. I wasn’t exactly “giving thanks in all circumstances” as Paul admonished the Thessalonians to do around 2000 years ago as I scooped him up, placing him ever so gently into the bathtub, and then proceeded to fill a big bucket with lots of soapy water, scrubbed down the bed with one hand, large cup of coffee in the other hand. I felt angry tears forming, out of pure frustration at how difficult it can be to raise a severely handicapped 8 year old, especially while two curious three year olds look on commenting about how “stinky” it is, and suddenly, my hero stepped into the room.

“What happened honey?” he asked.

My husband, my calm in the face of some serious crap, my much more patient half on his special day, Father’s Day, offering assistance.

“You clean Luke, I’ll get the bed” he offered with a smile.

“But it’s Father’s Fay” I protested, “You shouldn’t have to clean up poop on Father’s Day!”

“It’s just another day” he replied with a smirk.

Tate then piped in his delightful commentary for our conversation with the addition of “This is probably the worst Father’s Day ever, huh dad?”

His father did not reply. Ryan’s a good man like that, he just does what needs to be done without making a big deal out of it. I am a blessed woman to have him in my life, our kids are blessed to have him in their lives, and Luke is blessed to have a father, an adopted father, who without batting an eye, or puking up his dinner from the day before, cleaned up piles of poop on Father’s Day. Yup, we have a keeper over here at our house.

We did not make it to church, the mess taking most of the morning to adequately clean up.

The rest of the day was a little less eventful, church on tv, honey baked ham for lunch and a wonderful Father’s Day grill out for the amazing man in our life. Burgers, homemade potato chips, watermelon, and my world famous (well, Ronne famous) peanut butter sheet cake with homemade chocolate icing. This is seriously tasty and seriously easy to make.  

cake

 

Recipe for Cake
1/4 cup creamy peanut butter
1 cup water
1/2 cup butter
1 cup sugar
1 cup brown sugar
2 cups flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 eggs
1/2 cup buttermilk
1 teaspoon vanilla.
 
Preheat oven to 375 degrees.  In a medium pot, stir together butter, water, and peanut butter until it comes to a boil.  REMOVE from heat. In a separate bowl, mix together sugars, flour, salt, and baking soda.  Add it to peanut butter mixture.  Beat the eggs slightly, add to the mix, add the vanilla and the buttermilk.  Pour onto a greased sheet pan and bake for 15 minutes. 
 
Chocolate frosting 
1/2 cup butter
3 TB cocoa
5 TB milk
16 ounces powered sugar.
 
Melt the first three ingredients in a pot over medium heat.  Remove from heat and beat in sugar.  Spread on warm cake.  DELICIOUSNESS!
 

Finally, three of the kids left for their first week long stay at Bible camp! We had some excited campers who are going to have a blast!
campJust keep livin!!

Friedrich Nietzsche and Dancing EVERY SINGLE DAY OF YOUR LIFE!

Posted on by Jessica Ronne

I’m slowly but surely figuring out how to be a writer, a mom, and a wife, (amongst many other ambitions I have) and I’m discovering that it’s a very fine line most days. For those who don’t know, I’ve enjoyed blogging for about six years now, on and off, starting in 2007 with a Carepage that detailed the story of life with my late husband and four children, specifically our life that involved three years of battling brain cancer. Ryan and I then attempted, unsuccessfully, to have a blog after we met called HighwayofGrace. We enjoyed writing together and many wanted to know how our story evolved after a whirlwind romance, a fast engagement, marriage, and adjusting as a family of 9. I say unsuccessful because first – we didn’t have time for a blog, (weird with 7 kids, huh?) and second, we weren’t always completely truthful in what we wrote; in fact, we were quite untruthful that first year, often bending the truth in ways to portray an image of deep grief when in reality we were feeling very blessed and happy. I believe this “faking” was brought on in part by our society which often encourages wallowing in grief – whatever causes that grief: divorce, death, or pain, to name a few, for an unlimited period of time. For what reason? I’m not exactly sure. To honor the dead? That doesn’t make sense to me. It makes more sense to live my life to the fullest if my objective is to honor the dead. To obtain attention? Now I think we’re getting a bit closer to the objective for some people because as long as they remain in a perpetual state of grief people feel sorry for them and that is a part of our human nature, we want to be noticed for something even if it is a negative something – much like my two toddlers…  

IMG 5545 2

Recently as a believer I’ve come to the realization that there is a time to mourn and then there is a time to set aside our mourning for something better. The Bible specifically says, “There is a time to mourn and a time to dance” Ecclesiastes 3:4. Not only are we admonished to put aside our mourning, but we are told Biblically it is a time to celebrate – to dance. Now think about that word, DANCE. The writer could have used a variety of words as a juxtaposition to mourning such as “there is a time to mourn and a time to eat, “or “there is a time to mourn and a time to clean the house” or “there is a time to mourn and a time to have a chocolate bar” but instead he chose the word DANCE – a strong word signifying life at the rawest levels for humanity. We dance at celebrations, festivals, and weddings because dancing expresses our human joy at the deepest levels imaginable. To dance is to be free of restraints and people’s opinions or thoughts of us. Dancing is letting go completely, freely, with all that we have and basking in the exhilaration of life. Friedrich Nietzsche, German Philosopher and poet says, “We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.” Amen and Amen.

I’ve realized as well, through the encouragement of my husband who actually had this revelation once upon a time, that our job is not to live for the deceased’s honor; it is our job as Christ followers to live for HIS honor.   I began this blog about a year ago and it has been a thrill writing, meeting people in blog world, and enjoying the connections I’ve made. I am extremely thankful for all who read. You bless me incredibly with your kind words and support. I write a blog because I love writing, I love stretching my brain cells to formulate something that borders (loosely) on an intellectual thought that expands beyond that of a ten year old or three year old thought process. I want this blog to give people hope in the midst of life’s storms and an assurance that the storm won’t last forever and often times God’s blessing after the storm far outweighs anything you could ever imagine in the midst of the pain. This blog, I’m hoping, will also assist in my ultimate dream, one of the remaining items on my bucket list and that is to get a manuscript I’ve been working on published. My book begins with journal writings from when I was pregnant with Luke nine years ago and hearing the initial diagnosis that he would not live. For years I thought that was the story and then it progressed into something bigger than I could have ever imagined. It became a story of my late husband’s battle with brain cancer, his death, and then continued with my story of meeting Ryan and three new children. It’s a story of healing, three very different healings: Luke’s healing which was not at all my idea of healing for him, Jason’ s perfect healing which he received in Heaven, and finally, healing for my life, through something bigger and better than I could have ever dreamed or imagined. May we all never stop dancing and above all else I encourage you to…

Just keep livin!!