We lay my 92 year old Grandfather to rest tomorrow morning. My grandmother passed away one month ago and he was recently overheard sharing with a nurse about his desire to go to Heaven and be with the love of his life. A few weeks later he was granted his wish. They were truly an example of a Godly marriage.
For 62 years they raised four boys together, pastored several churches, and supported and prayed for eighteen grandchildren and 25 great grandchildren. Together they modeled the fruits of the spirit towards anyone who was privileged to know them. In remembering their final days, I’ve often wondered whether or not we’ll be reunited in Heaven with our spouses someday. Although I do believe we’ll be reunited with them as individuals, I don’t believe we’ll hold the same spousal relationship there as we do here on earth.
First, from a human perspective, there is some jealousy that arises when I think of my current husband being reunited with his first wife in Heaven while I remain on earth, alone and missing him. Secondly, who would actually be my husband when we all made it there together? Would I have to pick who I wanted to spend eternity with? Current husband Ryan or late husband Jason? Would they duke it out for my hand in marriage? Or would neither one of them want me at that point? The whole situation could get a bit awkward. Although it’s a romantic thought for some, for others of us, in situations similar to mine, it’s a pretty horrific thought! It seems like the perfect scenario to incur anger, jealousy, and bitterness – not traits I imagine being present in Heaven.
I looked to the Bible for wisdom and read,
And Jesus said to them, “The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage, but those who are considered worthy to attain to that age and to the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage, for they cannot die anymore, because they are equal to angels and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection. Luke 20:34-36 ,
The same day Sadducees came to him, who say that there is no resurrection, and they asked him a question, saying, “Teacher, Moses said, ‘If a man dies having no children, his brother must marry the widow and raise up offspring for his brother. Now there were seven brothers among us. The first married and died, and having no offspring left his wife to his brother. So too the second and third, down to the seventh. After them all, the woman died. In the resurrection, therefore, of the seven, whose wife will she be? For they all had her. But Jesus answered them, You are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. Matt 22:23
The key verse here is when Jesus speaks saying, “You are wrong…For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.” The verse in Luke also reiterates how those who are resurrected from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage, for they cannot die anymore because they are equal to angels and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection. Matthew 22:30
A few things stand out to me about these verses. In both verses our resurrected bodies are compared to being like and equal to the angels. In neither verse do we hear that we become angels as so many people would like to believe when their loved one dies. How often do we as a society say something like, “Oh she’s an angel looking over you” or “You’ll always have an angel watching you from Heaven.” These verses clearly state that this is not the case. Our new bodies will resemble something like the angels, and perhaps this was the clearest example Christ could portray for our frail human minds to understand and comprehend.
Secondly, I find it interesting that Luke states that when a person is resurrected from the dead, they are neither married nor given in marriage anymore, because they cannot die anymore. What is it about the fact that because we cannot die anymore that leads to the lack of a need for marriage in Heaven? Christ compared a Biblical marriage as one where the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her Ephesians 5:25. This is what is portrayed Biblically as the premise for a Godly, loving marriage here on earth, one in which the husband lays down his life for his bride, dies to himself and his own selfish ambitions, sacrifices for her, and loves her and in return, the wife, like the church of Christ, seeks to honor, respect, love, cherish and obey her spouse out of the love that he pours out upon her, She does him [husband] good, and not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12. It is this dying to ourselves concept that we see portrayed in this example of marriage.
Therefore, if we have been resurrected with Christ in Heaven there is no longer the need for the earthly example of marriage. Instead, we will all have perfected what the true marriage relationship was ultimately meant to showcase; Christ and his bride, together forever in holy matrimony, Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel said to me, Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb. And he said to me, These are the true words of God.” Revelation 19:7-9
Marriage is no longer required in Heaven because the institution will be fulfilled completely through Christ and his relationship with the church. So it really doesn’t matter who will be my husband in Heaven. I will be so filled with the love of Christ as my bridegroom and part of the resurrected church, the most beautiful bride ever, that I will have no need for spousal love; for Christ’s love will fill every aspect of that love that earthly need just as I believe wholeheartedly that both of my grandparents are experiencing right now.
Just keep livin!!