We lay my 92 year old Grandfather to rest tomorrow morning. My grandmother passed away one month ago and he was recently overheard sharing with a nurse about his desire to go to Heaven and be with the love of his life. A few weeks later he was granted his wish. They were truly an example of a Godly marriage. 
For 62 years they raised four boys together, pastored several churches, and supported and prayed for eighteen grandchildren and 25 great grandchildren.  Together they modeled the fruits of the spirit towards anyone who was privileged to know them.  In remembering their final days, I’ve  often wondered whether or not we’ll be reunited in Heaven with our spouses someday.  Although I do believe we’ll be reunited with them as individuals, I don’t believe we’ll hold the same spousal relationship there as we do here on earth.  
First, from a human perspective, there is some jealousy that arises when I think of my current husband being reunited with his first wife in Heaven while I remain on earth, alone and missing him. Secondly, who would actually be my husband when we all made it there together?  Would I have to pick who I wanted to spend eternity with? Current husband Ryan or late husband Jason? Would they duke it out for my hand in marriage?  Or would neither one of them want me at that point?  The whole situation could get a bit awkward.  Although it’s a romantic thought for some, for others of us, in situations similar to mine, it’s a pretty horrific thought!  It seems like the perfect scenario to incur anger, jealousy, and bitterness – not traits I imagine being present in Heaven. 
I looked to the  Bible for wisdom and  read,
And Jesus said to them, “The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage, but those who are considered worthy to attain to that age and to the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage, for they cannot die anymore, because they are equal to angels and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection.  Luke 20:34-36 ,
The same day Sadducees came to him, who say that there is no resurrection, and they asked him a question,  saying, “Teacher, Moses said, ‘If a man dies having no children, his brother must marry the widow and raise up offspring for his brother. Now there were seven brothers among us. The first married and died, and having no offspring left his wife to his brother. So too the second and third, down to the seventh.  After them all, the woman died. In the resurrection, therefore, of the seven, whose wife will she be? For they all had her.  But Jesus answered them, You are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. Matt 22:23
The key verse here is when Jesus speaks saying, “You are wrong…For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.”  The verse in Luke also reiterates how those who are resurrected from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage, for they cannot die anymore because they are equal to angels and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection.  Matthew 22:30
A few things stand out to me about these verses. In both verses our resurrected bodies are compared to being like and equal to the angels.  In neither verse do we hear that we become angels as so many people would like to believe when their loved one dies.  How often do we as a society say something like, “Oh she’s an angel looking over you” or “You’ll always have an angel watching you from Heaven.”  These verses clearly state that this is not the case.  Our new bodies will resemble something like the angels, and perhaps this was the clearest example Christ could portray for our frail human minds to understand and comprehend. 
Secondly, I find it interesting that Luke states that when a person is resurrected from the dead, they are neither married nor given in marriage anymore, because they cannot die anymore. What is it about the fact that because we cannot die anymore that leads to the lack of a need for marriage in Heaven?  Christ compared a Biblical marriage as one where the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church.  Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her Ephesians 5:25. This is what is portrayed Biblically as the premise for a Godly, loving marriage here on earth, one in which the husband lays down his life for his bride, dies to himself and his own selfish ambitions, sacrifices for her, and loves her and in return, the wife, like the church of Christ, seeks to honor, respect, love, cherish and obey her spouse out of the love that he pours out upon her, She does him [husband] good, and not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12. It is this dying to ourselves concept that we see portrayed in this example of marriage. 
Therefore, if we have been resurrected with Christ in Heaven there is no longer the need for the earthly example of marriage.  Instead, we will all have perfected what the true marriage relationship was ultimately meant to showcase; Christ and his bride, together forever in holy matrimony, Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel said to me, Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb. And he said to me, These are the true words of God.” Revelation 19:7-9 
Marriage is no longer required in Heaven because the institution will be fulfilled completely through Christ and his relationship with the church.  So it really doesn’t matter who will be my husband in Heaven.  I will be so filled with the love of Christ as my bridegroom and part of the resurrected church, the most beautiful bride ever, that I will have no need for spousal love; for Christ’s love will fill every aspect of that love that earthly need just as I believe wholeheartedly that both of my grandparents are experiencing right now.
Just keep livin!!

 

13 thoughts on “Who will be my husband in Heaven?

  1. Jessica i am so sorry for the loss of your Grandfather and Grandmother…. but you know it is a true testament to love that one can not live without the other…. how priceless. My Grandparents have been together for 61 years…. not all happy. But yet together! What a blessing for them to be true to their faith and each other for so many years. I Pray that love for you and Ryan.Tammy CP: SherryLynnRobinson

  2. What a wonderful example of marriage your grandparents were! Heaven is all about God, not us. I don’t believe we will be reunited with past loves in that way and it won’t matter because our “role” in Heaven will be to worship God in all his glory, not worry about who was married to who.

  3. Yes! In the Old Testament, when a person died, the biblical writers said he was “gathered to his people” (cf. Gen. 25:8; 35:29; 49:29; Num. 20:24; Judg. 2:10). In 2 Samuel 12, when David’s infant child died, David confidently said, “I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me” (v. 23). David evidently expected to see the child again–not just a nameless, faceless soul without an identity, but that very child.The New Testament indicates even more clearly that our identities will remain unchanged. While sharing the Passover meal with His disciples, Christ said, “Take this [cup] and divide it among yourselves; for I say to you, I will not drink of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes” (Luke 22:17-18). Christ was promising that He and His disciples would drink the fruit of the vine together again–in heaven. Elsewhere Jesus makes a similar, but even more definite, promise: “Many will come from east and west, and sit down with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 8:11).Furthermore, Moses and Elijah appeared with Christ on the Mount of Transfiguration. Even though they died centuries before, they still maintained a clear identity (Matt. 17:3)–Peter, James, and John evidently recognized them (v. 4), which implies that we will somehow be able to recognize people we’ve never even seen before.All the redeemed will maintain their identity forever, but in a perfected form. We will be able to have fellowship with Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Jacob, Samuel, Moses, Joshua, Esther, Elijah, Elisha, Isaiah, Daniel, Ezekiel, David, Peter, Barnabas, Paul, or any of the saints we choose. For that to be possible, we must all retain our individual identities, not turn into some sort of generic beings.Describing the Lord’s appearing and the resurrection of the saints who have died, Paul writes, “Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord” (1 Thess. 4:17).Paul’s purpose in writing was to comfort some of the Thessalonians who evidently thought their dying loved ones would miss the return of Christ. He says in verse 18, “Comfort one another with these words.” The comfort comes from the prospect of reunion. Little comfort this would be if in the reunion we could not even recognize one another. But Paul’s promise that we will all be “together” forever implies that we shall renew fellowship with all whom we have known.We will be reunited not only with our own families and loved ones, but also with the people of God from all ages. In heaven we will all be one loving family. The immense size of the family will not matter in the infinite perfection of heaven. There will be ample opportunity for close relationships with everyone, and our eternity will be spent in just that kind of rich, unending fellowship.If you’re worried about feeling out of place in heaven, don’t. Heaven will seem more like home than the dearest spot on earth to you. It is uniquely designed by a tender, loving Savior to be the place where we will live together for all eternity and enjoy Him forever–in the fullness of our glorified humanity.Is it any wonder that the psalmist said, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints” (Ps. 116:15)?Adapted from John MacArthur, The Glory of Heaven (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 1996), 138-41.

  4. Yes! In the Old Testament, when a person died, the biblical writers said he was “gathered to his people” (cf. Gen. 25:8; 35:29; 49:29; Num. 20:24; Judg. 2:10). In 2 Samuel 12, when David’s infant child died, David confidently said, “I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me” (v. 23). David evidently expected to see the child again–not just a nameless, faceless soul without an identity, but that very child.The New Testament indicates even more clearly that our identities will remain unchanged. While sharing the Passover meal with His disciples, Christ said, “Take this [cup] and divide it among yourselves; for I say to you, I will not drink of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes” (Luke 22:17-18). Christ was promising that He and His disciples would drink the fruit of the vine together again–in heaven. Elsewhere Jesus makes a similar, but even more definite, promise: “Many will come from east and west, and sit down with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 8:11).Furthermore, Moses and Elijah appeared with Christ on the Mount of Transfiguration. Even though they died centuries before, they still maintained a clear identity (Matt. 17:3)–Peter, James, and John evidently recognized them (v. 4), which implies that we will somehow be able to recognize people we’ve never even seen before.All the redeemed will maintain their identity forever, but in a perfected form. We will be able to have fellowship with Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Jacob, Samuel, Moses, Joshua, Esther, Elijah, Elisha, Isaiah, Daniel, Ezekiel, David, Peter, Barnabas, Paul, or any of the saints we choose. For that to be possible, we must all retain our individual identities, not turn into some sort of generic beings.Describing the Lord’s appearing and the resurrection of the saints who have died, Paul writes, “Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord” (1 Thess. 4:17).Paul’s purpose in writing was to comfort some of the Thessalonians who evidently thought their dying loved ones would miss the return of Christ. He says in verse 18, “Comfort one another with these words.” The comfort comes from the prospect of reunion. Little comfort this would be if in the reunion we could not even recognize one another. But Paul’s promise that we will all be “together” forever implies that we shall renew fellowship with all whom we have known.We will be reunited not only with our own families and loved ones, but also with the people of God from all ages. In heaven we will all be one loving family. The immense size of the family will not matter in the infinite perfection of heaven. There will be ample opportunity for close relationships with everyone, and our eternity will be spent in just that kind of rich, unending fellowship.If you’re worried about feeling out of place in heaven, don’t. Heaven will seem more like home than the dearest spot on earth to you. It is uniquely designed by a tender, loving Savior to be the place where we will live together for all eternity and enjoy Him forever–in the fullness of our glorified humanity.Is it any wonder that the psalmist said, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints” (Ps. 116:15)?Adapted from John MacArthur, The Glory of Heaven (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 1996), 138-41.

  5. from my understanding there is no jealousy in heaven…im thinking that people who get married more than once will be reunited and live together in heaven without being jealous to each other.

  6. Have you ever read “Heaven is for Real” ? It’s about a little boy who clinically died but “came back” and he saw his grandpa and sister who had been a miscarriage. People had wings. He was only four so they asked him questions that they knew he would never know the answer unless he had really been there. It’s an amazing story. Everyone will be about 35 years old at their oldest in heaven.

  7. end. we had a 9months relationship, We were known for long time and we promised we will be together for ever but he has always had a drinking problem all his life.. because his drinking habit became so much this made us always have misunderstanding and I quarreled with him and humiliated and i made him realize that his bad habit was hurting me, I wanted him to change. i wanted him to be a good guy, i tried to change him but nothing was working out this made us to departed from each other, until one day i heard about a spell caster called Great zula , i tried his love spell and definitely it worked out perfectly for me, it never took time for the spell to start working, after some few days my lover came to me and wanted us to start our relationship again, our lover is so tight now that nothing can brings us apart, and his drinking habit stopped entirely, this love spell from greatzula@yahoo.com is wonderful,

    Regina ERNEST.

  8. (I’m remarried previous widow) The bible says no one will take a bride or be given as a bride. Meaning no one will GET married in heaven. So, perhaps we ARE married in heaven. Based on that thought: As for remarried widow/widowers, if there is marriage in heaven, they will be with their most recent spouse. When a person remarries, they terminate their previous marriage. Like a divorce. The death of the spouse doesn’t end a marriage, but the new marriage does. Forsake all others!! dead or alive!!. So, if your want to be with your spouse in heaven, don’t remarry after they die.

  9. In my studies on the subject I have come to believe that while we won’t be married because our marriage to Christ will be enough, we will know our spouse and our good memories will remain. Of course we will love everyone but we will everyone uniquely and infinitely and our relationship with our spouse although lacking earthly intimacy will be better and more complete than we could have imagined on earth.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: