What Do You Think?


I’m reaching out for some input today. I’ve been blogging for about a month now and I really enjoy it. Writing allows me to process so many thoughts and feelings and it also gives me a chance to get feedback from others in similar situations. I was a little nervous about whether or not anyone would want to read anything I had to say because my life wasn’t sad anymore as it was the first time I wrote in front of an online audience.  I’ve found that generally sad makes for good writing and reading, and I imagine that my other story was probably right up there with really sad stories.  A young, strong, personal trainer, husband and father fighting brain cancer for three years while his wife and four young children, one a severally handicapped child, try to maintain some sort of life in the midst of so much pain and suffering.  People gravitate towards sad because it is a universal feeling of all mankind.  Everyone understands pain, from Africa to America to Australia and back to Canada, it is the tie that binds us in our humanity.  People also tend to feel a little bit better about their own lives when they are reading about something so heartbreaking that someone else is going through for it puts their personal lives into a different perspective. Finally, it is the heartbreaking aspect of it; we can hardly turn our eyes away from the grotesque suffering of it all, and we root so hard for those suffering to experience joy once again.  So again I wasn’t sure anyone would want to read about my happiness when “sad” seemed to sell so well the first time around.  Someone on my former blog commented that reading my writing was interesting because they felt like they were literally inside my head.  Unfortunately you are when I write.  I may buffer it down a bit, “graceful grit” as Ryan would call it, but generally I write what I feel, maybe with a softer edge than if it were vocalized but it’s the same idea in the end.   
 Today I’m trying to get a feel for what people like to read about on a blog or on my blog for that matter.  I’ve read the blogger advice of “pick a topic and stick to it” but I don’t know if that’s my style. I have a lot of thoughts about a lot of things.  I know I like to read about controversial topics on other blogs, or topics that no one else will write about because it might offend someone, or just hot topics that people are talking about in their inner circles.   There are the mom blogs with the mom take on everything, which I do enjoy reading, but I have to say, most people get bored rather quickly just reading about your children’s antics unless it’s grandma or grandpa reading the blog.  There’s the grief part that I enjoy writing about and it’s about as universal as it gets.  Everyone has experienced grief in one way or another and there are oodles of books out there telling you how you should work through it and whether or not you’re doing it properly. This I find very interesting because it’s usually based on just one person’s take on how the whole world should be grieving.  Obviously I have some thoughts on this topic.  I could write about being married to a widower/widow. Now this is a topic I never realized had an entire subculture of silence surrounding it until I became a part of it.  This is such a sticky, messy, potentially emotionally draining and challenging subject that many may not get a lot out of it unless they are personally involved in it. It’s very hard to even begin to grasp the feelings of what goes on in and around one of these marriages, especially in the early stages of it.  Ryan and I have written our own rule book on how we choose to handle it and it works very well for our relationship. I could write about faith, or marriage or sex but not sure you want that topic from the woman with 7 kids🙂   I’m asking for some input today because I don’t want to become monotonous or boring.  Write me, message me, or email and let me know if the above are interesting topics or if you have something else, and I’ll do my best to tackle it.  Maybe I can even get my husband to write a time or two for he is also part of the BIG mess, and he’s a writer so he can offer a different perspective. 
Just keep livin!

8 thoughts on “What Do You Think?

  1. Jess, I personally love reading your posts about the positive way that you have moved on with your life, and the outlook that you& Ryan share that has allowed you both to be happy no matter what life has thrown at you. You have a very unique story and its very inspiring to read about how you deal with both the challenges and happy times 🙂

  2. I’ve only been reading for about 1 month. I enjoy your blog as we have some things in common. I read all of them and save the ones that closely relate to my situation. Please write about whatever touches your heart.

  3. Jessica – I responded to this blog post the day you posted it, and I spoke to you and Ryan from my heart. After all the typing and editing and correcting, I must have messed something up and lost my comment. I’ll never be able to remember what I said to you, but I’m gonna try again. Please understand, just because ppl don’t respond to your blog posts, it doesn’t mean they don’t like it, or feel like you are stepping on toes. Personally, I could comment to each of your posts, but I don’t. It doesn’t mean they don’t impact my heart, because they do. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to experience what you and Ryan have experienced in your 33 and 35 yrs. You both have experienced more than most people ever have to. I knew when I learned of yours and Ryans “connection” so soon after Kaci’s death, that God was working in a mighty, mighty way. Didn’t know how it was all gonna play out, but I had no doubt it would work out according to God’s plan. I know there are people that don’t understand how either of you could even consider a life with each other so soon after your respective spouses death, and that’s ok…..they don’t have to understand….they just need to accept it, cause this is the way your lives are now. I’m so grateful that you found each other and that God has made a way for both of you to share the rest of your lives together, for how ever long that is, with all seven of your Big, Happy Children!!!! You both have a gift with the written word and you both have a miraculous story to share with the world. I believe God expects you to share your experience, all the bad and sad along with the happy….You do not know who or how many lives you and Ryan will touch with your story, and it’s an amazing one. As long as God is leading you to keep your blog up, I think you must do so…..I only know you through reading your Carepages and now your blog and what Ryan’s mother shares with me. We have worked together for 20 plus years and I consider her one of my very dearest friends. She has raised some pretty amazing kids (5 to be exact)and those kids are carrying on her legacy…..You just keep on livin’ girl!!!! Just know you are reaching people that no one else can reach and changing lives that no one else can change, because of your story……Love to you and your Big Happy Mess!!!!!

  4. Jessica, I have literally read every blog post related to the Ronne family, from the very first ones that Kaci posted pre-Albania, through the hard times, then on the “highway” and now about “the mess”. And the thing about each one that I love is that they are from the heart, not contrived or over-written, but truly a “snapshot in words” of what is going on with the Ronne’s today. I think the fact that you write about whatever strikes your fancy, controversial or not, IS your common theme. You go where the Lord leads you and your readers can take from it what they were intended to take from it. I love it and although I rarely comment, I ALWAYS read! I look forward to learning more about YOU in the next few posts.

  5. I love all of it! I wish that more of humanity understood the gift of vulnerability…it is a gift to yourself and to everyone who graces your life. It makes me sad that so many people cannot grasp this concept. Life is messy, confusing, heartbreaking, magical, and wonderful all at the same time. I am glad you have the courage to put it all out there. Don’t ever discount how much of an inspiration and a life saver you might be to ONE person who happens on to your blog.

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